SDR Group Leaders

NOTE:  Most of the people listed below are willing to mentor and assist new group members on a one to one basis.  We only have two hours per week for our group meeting and going through the divorce process requires a lot more support than that!  The “lucky” people have their own therapist, good friends and family members to talk to.  But if you don’t have an extensive support system please contact Doug and he will refer you to someone that is willing to help – or at the very least simply listen to and understand what you’re going through.

Email:   sdr.group.charlotte@gmail.com

Call:   704 – 957 – 3943

Doug Carson  -  Lead Meeting Facilitator, Webmaster, Email Manager, WhatsApp Chat Group Manager

Doug joined the group in late 2006 after his 28 year marriage ended.  At the time, Jerry McQuay and Mike Heeney were co-facilitators.  Several years later Mike left the group and Doug gradually started helping Jerry with facilitator duties and began a weekly email distribution of separation / divorce related articles that continue to this day.  Doug has been an analyst of one type or another in corporate America for over 40 years so he likes doing research on the psychology behind what drives us in our relationships and how to heal ourselves.  He also created and maintains this website, along with our SDR Meetup.com site, our private SDR Email Distribution List and the SDR WhatsApp Chat Group.  He believes in giving back what he can to the group that literally saved his sanity and his life during the very difficult ending of his long marriage.  He also went through a second, unnecessary divorce because he wasn’t fully healed from the first divorce before re-coupling.  He wants to help other people avoid perpetuating this tragedy that so many people go through.  He is now happily married for the third and final time.

Jerry McQuay  -  Former Lead Meeting Facilitator for many years, now a visiting Facilitator joining once per month to lead a discussion of a chapter from the Rebuilding Book (by Bruce Fisher)  

Jerry is the most senior member of our group and has been facilitating the longest.  He joined the group in 2003 after his 20 year marriage ended.  He is our preeminent expert on the “Rebuilding” book we use and knows it by heart after having gone through it many, many times since 2003!  Jerry is also an extremely talented artist and has hosted several paint-a-thon get-togethers over the years for our group member’s amusement (see our picture gallery).  Jerry created the SDR logo at the top of this website.  He has now been happily re-married for over 10 years.  Jerry has also become a Certified Separation / Divorce Rebuilding Coach and he offers a FREE, 1-hour phone conversation to discuss the most difficult challenges you are struggling with in separation and divorce.  Here is his contact info:

Jerry McQuay

704 – 502 - 3073

Email:  jerryhpuck@gmail.com

Pat Cox  -  Assistant Meeting Facilitator, active SDR WhatsApp Chat facilitator helping people with healing advice and support 24 x 7

Pat was married for over 40 years and has been with the SDR Group since 2016, first as an active participant and for the most recent years generously giving her time and energy every week helping Doug facilitate the Tuesday night meetings and helping anyone that asks.  Pat is retired and has moved from Charlotte to Oklahoma and also donates her time and energy to the USO to help our soldiers in any way she can.  THANKS for all you do Pat!

Sandra Nichols  -  Assistant Meeting Facilitator, active SDR WhatsApp Chat facilitator helping people with healing advice and support 24 x 7

Sandra has been with the SDR Group since 2019.  She was married for over 40 years and has always had an amazing attitude and capacity for healing.  Doug says she is one of the fastest healing people he knows!  (It took Doug 6 full years to heal from his first, 28-year marriage – but Sandra was much quicker than that).  Sandra has been very successful in her healing journey and she is always ready and willing to help others that are struggling.  Sandra has had some health issues that have prevented her from attending every week – but we are always grateful when she is able to join us and share her wealth of knowledge and healing support with everyone.  Thanks Sandra!

Bill MacKinnon  -  Social Director (retired)

Bill joined us during 2011 after his 25 year marriage ended.  He has always been an ardent supporter of our SDR Group and willing to help anyone struggling or in need.  Bill has given generously of his time and money to help our group prosper.  Bill is now happily re-married to another former SDR participant and enjoying their life together.  Thanks Bill!

Betsy Jackson Heynen