About our SDR Group

Separation Divorce Recovery Group - Charlotte, NC

We are an independent, self-supporting, science and psychology based Divorce Support Group, open to all beliefs (or non-beliefs). Historically we have been meeting every Tuesday night in Charlotte, in one form or another, at one location or another, for well over 25 years!  Since March 2020 (when the Covid pandemic began) we’ve been meeting ONLY via Zoom, every Tuesday night from 7:00 pm until 9:30 pm.  This has worked out well for us as we’re now able to serve people from all over the country – plus Canada!  However, we do continue to offer many socializing opportunities in and around Charlotte for our local SDR participants.  We generally have anywhere from 12 to 20+ people on the call, averaging about 15 people each week.  We do have a maximum limit of 49 people.

We help people deal with the heartache, sadness and despair (and eventual recovery from) the ending of a primary love relationship. Deep emotional pain is common for most people going through separation and divorce. People who have not personally gone through this process cannot truly comprehend the high levels of trauma, grief, stress, anger and pain involved. Everyone in our group has been through it and does understand. You are NOT alone! We want to help you survive this “life crisis”, break from the past, learn from it, heal yourself and rebuild your life.

Our group is managed by a Leadership Team made up of 6 people that have been involved with this group for many years. Our meetings are conducted by facilitators that have personally survived divorce and have been doing this work for 15+ years. Each meeting usually begins with discussion of an article related to separation, divorce, dating, etc. that is sent out in a broadcast email to everyone in our group who has submitted their email address to us. We will also ask if anyone is in “crisis mode” and needs to discuss something specific or ask the group for help. Or, if they have good news to share, or progress being made, they are welcome to share that. In addition, one meeting per month we conduct a group discussion using a book entitled “Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends” (written by Bruce Fisher). This book is considered one of the best resources available to help with rebuilding your life, your sanity, your relationships and your future after separation and divorce.

I believe we learn as much from each other sharing our experiences as we do from the book or articles. As renowned psychologist John Bradshaw said “…we can’t effectively grieve alone…” which is why a support group such as ours is so important to the healing process. In our group discussions we tackle anything and everything related to separation and divorce, including; children related issues during divorce, financial issues, emotional issues, loneliness, sexual issues and dating again.

Our group is very diverse! Generally including equal numbers of men and women, ranging in age from 20’s up to late 70’s, from all backgrounds and economic conditions. Length of previous relationships vary anywhere from several years up to 40+ years (with an average of 20+ years). Some people come to us recently separated within the last 30 days, or 1 to 3 years separated / divorced, all the way up to 10+ years after divorce. The long-term members help our newer members by sharing what they’ve gone through and learned, what has worked and what hasn’t, along with providing encouragement and hope for the future.

Our group also has periodic social get-togethers for those that live in the Charlotte, NC area. We use our email distribution list and our private SDR WhatsApp Chat Group to announce these events to everyone in advance.

We believe strongly in doing the PERSONAL GROWTH WORK necessary to become an emotionally whole and healthy individual. The idea is to let go of “needing” someone else to validate you. You ARE already all you NEED. It’s part of the normal human condition to “want” to share your life with another person. But it becomes a problem when we are “needy” for this, as in trying to “replace” our lost love with a new person. We encourage people to fully grieve their lost love and recover themselves emotionally before starting a new relationship. It is much healthier to “desire” a partner to share your life with as opposed to “needing” a partner to validate and support you. Approximately a third of our members have been divorced twice (or more) and learned this the hard way.

We hope you will connect and join us!

You can also find us on Meetup.com:

https://www.meetup.com/Separation-and-Divorce-Recovery-Group-of-Charlotte/